“I Did Not Call Her A WHORE!” (Or, “Things I Learned at Chicago TARDIS 2009”)

THINGS I LEARNED AT Chicago TARDIS 2009

(Weeell, when I say Chicago, I mean Lombard, IL…)


The Vicar Survived.

During his last panel at the con, Paul McGann revealed unto the audience that the Vicar from Lesbian Vampire Killers did in fact survive, and may appear in the rumored follow-up, tentatively titled “Big Gay Werewolves”.

Naoko Mori has the potential to be the next big cosplay idol.

During her panel, the Torchwood star revealed that at one point, she’d considered dressing up as one of the Adipose from Series 4 of Doctor Who. The audience encouraged this greatly. The cute factor was cranked up to 11.

-Going Up To A British Guest With An Obviously Fake English Acccent=Moebius Loop of Fail
I kid you not. My friend and I saw this in action on Friday night when two girls, trying to awe a guest, started spouting off and trying to be cute in HORRIBLE English accents. This would go on to the point where my friend and I had to resist the urge to unleash Cushing!Dalek extinguisher foam in their eyes.

Faaail. Faaaaaail.

“It’s The EIGHTH Doctor! Not ‘8’!”

Saturday night, Gary Russell laid down what he called a Cardiff Edict about how to refer to Doctors. The lesson pretty speaks for itself. He would then inadvertently call my friend a whore, his words manipulated by the dastardly Tony Lee. The title of this post comes from his defense which we got him to say at every possible opportunity.

If you don’t have anything to say, beatboxing will work every time.

Just ask Yee Jee Tso who ran out on stage during Opening Ceremonies doing just that. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get him to beatbox one more for a bumper.

Rob Shearman is amazing.

I actually went up to him personally and thanked him for being a wonderful writer. He’s actually one of my favorite authors and a big inspiration for my writing for audio drama. Go buy his new book, Love Songs for the Shy and Cynical . Tell him I sent you.

-Con, Wedding, Bystander is the Greatest Game Ever.

In an attempt to try and kill time, my friend and I invented a game called Con, Wedding Bystander. See, that particular weekend, the Westin Lombard accommodated not only Chicago TARDIS but also two wedding receptions. With us in the lobby and people running around in the chaos, we started pointing out which person belonged to what event. Sometimes it was obvious, other times we had to guess. We ended up in a tie towards the end of it.

If you would like to play this at a con that’s scheduled against a wedding, here are the rules.

  1. The points don’t matter, but you do get a point for every time you prove somebody wrong.
  2. If you see a tag on a con-goer, it doesn’t count
  3. +1 modifier for every animal
  4. +.5 modifier for every stuffed animal
  5. A round ends once a guest walks by. The game ends when either Paul McGann or India Fisher walk by.

….Okay, you might have to only do this at a con where Paul McGann and/or India Fisher is in attendance. Slight flaw in our logic, yes, but you try passing time on a Saturday night.

-New Con Pick-Up Line Has Been Unlocked: “What’s With The Sexy Look?”
Guys, if a girl is wearing something attractive at a con, while you would assume that she is dressing up, there IS in fact a 40% chance that she’s actually dressed normally. The presence of leather and cleavage doesn’t guarantee that she’s portraying Mara Jade, Vala, or any other leather-clad sci-fi heroine; Unless there’s so much as a blaster, gunbelt, or [Insert Prop Here], assume she’s normal and don’t think of walking up to her and asking the desperate sounding “What’s with the Sexy Look?”

Otherwise, you’ll end up like the guy that asked my friend this question while we were waiting in the lobby, whose releasing of the seal to this new batch of fail left us laughing like a pack of hyenas every time with thought about or saw him. As my colleague observed, “If you’re going to say something that dumb, you should be prepared to become my newest source of entertainment.” Don’t let this happen to you, valiant male readers.

-Lastly, Subscribers do get more at BigFinish.com.

Damn you, Nick Briggs for being subtle with your advertising.

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3 thoughts on ““I Did Not Call Her A WHORE!” (Or, “Things I Learned at Chicago TARDIS 2009”)

  1. The toy skunk that Paul is holding is called ambrosha.I dressed her up as tom bakers doctor. HE RULES!! I walked around with her most of the convention with her on my head! I know its silly. ive had her for years now,and will be takeing her to motor city comic con this year in may. i hope to get her pic with george takei lol
    Thanks for posting the pic! You Rock!

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